An American woman recently posted a heartbreaking video announcing that her husband and her young son, aged six, had been killed in a car accident near Lombardy.
Among the thousands of messages expressing sympathy and support was a comment that stopped me in my tracks.
“I love your glasses. Can you tell me where you got them?”
At first, I assumed it was a joke. Surely nobody could be that oblivious. Yet the comment appeared genuine, written by someone who seemed more interested in a fashion accessory than in the unimaginable tragedy that had just been shared.
It would be easy to dismiss this as a single insensitive remark from a stranger on the internet. The problem is that it isn’t an isolated incident. It is a symptom of a much larger issue. Social media has fundamentally changed how many people engage with one another, and not always for the better.
We now consume human experiences at the speed of a thumb swipe. In the space of a few seconds, we can move from a video of a family mourning a loved one, to a cooking tutorial, to a political argument, to a celebrity gossip post, and then to an advertisement for shoes. Everything appears in the same feed, packaged in the same format and competing for the same fleeting attention.
The consequence is that some people no longer process what they are actually seeing. They respond to tragedy as though they are responding to a lifestyle post. They comment before they think. They react without absorbing the context.
Empathy requires attention. It requires us to stop and recognise that there is a real person on the other side of the screen experiencing something real. Social media, by design, encourages the opposite. It rewards speed, engagement and instant reaction.
This is not about policing comments or demanding perfection. Most people genuinely care. Most people would never intentionally cause further pain to someone who is grieving. But somewhere along the way, many of us have become so accustomed to viewing life through a screen that we have forgotten the basic social skill of reading the room.
Technology has connected us to more people than ever before, yet it has also created a strange emotional distance. We witness births, deaths, illnesses, celebrations and disasters from the comfort of our couches, often forgetting that these are not stories. They are lives.
The woman who lost her husband and two sons did not need recommendations, opinions or questions about her eyewear. She needed compassion.
If social media has taught us anything, it is that being connected is not the same as being human. The challenge for all of us is to remember the difference.
**Nivashni Nair is an IOL contributor.
*** The views expressed here do not necessarily represent those of IOL or Independent Media.
